Working with Grief Through the Elements
a practice
Hello Mortals,🥀
How are we feeling? April was a month.
I love working with the elements and I’m sure a lot of you do too. If you need a moment to just tune into your body and release some tension, I hope this newsletter can support you.
I’m heading out on a week long road trip through Wyoming soon and I’ve never been more ready to connect with nature and the land we live on. I thought this would be a good week to share some writing on the elements and I hope you enjoy.
Nature seems to be able to hold our grief in ways that no human could ever bear.
Most of us don’t see grief as a single emotion, but as a landscape. And the elements can offer simple and practical ways to meet what’s there without needing to fix or explain anything.
Spending time in nature is great way to connect with this energy, but even just psychically working with the energies of the elements can be extremely grounding and supportive. A quick 5 minute visual of touching a tree if you’re feeling overwhelmed at work, a moment to drink some water and feel into your body’s needs, a quick walk on your break to connect with the sun...etc. Inviting the elements into your heart and soul in a multitude of ways can be really centering.
You don’t need to work with all the elements, or do this “right.” You can just let yourself be drawn to the one that feels most alive for you if you feel called.
Below you will find ways to invite the energy of these elements into your life.
The Four Elements
Earth invites us to slow down and feel what is solid beneath us. Since grief lives in the body, the Earth can remind us to rest, to sit, to place our feet on the ground etc. A new death doula friend named Hannah recently turned me on to the concept of a sacred anchoring and I am loving that beautiful reminder when it comes to feeling grounded in our grief. You might hold a stone, tend a plant, or simply notice the weight of your body in a chair. You could go for a hike, a walk, connect with a tree, whatever your heart desires. Earth can teach grief patience and endurance.
Water gives us permission to feel. Tears, intuitive nudges, connecting with the subconscious or the moon, longing and memory. I always feel cleansed or refreshed after spending time by water. Water holds it all. You might drink a glass of it with intention, take a bath, do a water ritual, or sit near a river/lake/stream or ocean and just let what needs to move, move. I tend to feel such a feeling of calm alongside water and also a vastness that reminds me how small I am. The awe can be medicinal.
Fire can honor grief’s intensity, such as anger, regret, devotion, love, or rage that has nowhere to go. Fire makes space for all of it. Lighting a candle, burning a letter or naming what feels heavy can be a way of letting grief express its power without consuming us. Shake it out, twist it out or dance or do your preferred method of movement. I love burning herbs in my home as a cleansing ritual to connect with fire. Holding the flame helps me honor my power as well.
Air can help grief breathe. It can tighten our chest and cause us to gasp. Air reminds us to deeply inhale, exhale and then speak when we’re ready. You might whisper a name, sing to music, write a few unfiltered words on a page or notice or listen to the wind. A chat with a friend might be supportive as well. What is the wind telling you, what is is whispering in your ear?
I recently listened to an interview with Cody Cook-Parrot on the Sounds True podcast and they explained the concept of having soft structures. I love this because it gives us permission to feel more flexible and spacious. Less rigid and more attuned to the moment and the ground we are on. This is what working with the elements has taught me as well. That we are all a part of nature and the everchanging cycle of it all. That we have a lot of room to roam. And that nature can be a guide to the expansion of being alive.
May the elements meet you where you are.
May they hold what feels too heavy to carry alone.
With care and creativity,
Liz 💙